Stupid autocorrect tried to make that title say “I’m Barack”. Thanks, Obama.

So the blog has been back up and blog-able for about a few weeks now, but with the holidays, I was busy. And then with the holidays over, I was tired. But then something miraculous happened and I was inspired to blog again.

What happened was that I wanted to kill. Not really. But I’m really really annoyed.

Vocal fry.

Vocal fry is what is killing me.

Actually Millenials/ Generation Z is what’s killing me. All of ‘em. Even the ones I like.

I’m sitting in a waiting room at a doctors’ office where I have to remain for the next three hours because I’m going through some testing, and I’m lucky enough to share this time and space with two vocal fry Millenial queens, age about 17. They are so unbelievably annoying and all they’re doing is talking. Well, and playing each other videos. And reading each other texts. And talking on the phone. And complaining about the weather. And reading into a text that just said “ok” for the past fifteen minutes. I have head phones on and it’s not enough, I can still hear their slight whine over Netflix. Netflix, don’t do me like that. Don’t dog me.

Which brings me to a colloquialism that was very familiar to my family, but was recently pointed out to be strange by my husband and my sister’s boyfriend. The phrase: “dog me up”. To us it meant “lay it on me”, “give me some”, “yes please” even. But Todd and Reed were confused. Did it mean “I’ll take a little”? Or perhaps it meant “that’s not cool, brah, of course I don’t want any”. Or “that’s not cool, brah, of course I want some. Why did you even ask?!”

And speaking of colloquialisms, did you know that the phrase was “get down to brass tacks” not “brass tax”. Every day I’m learning.

Oh good, no one is debating what a two letter text means anymore. “OK”. In my humble O.P. I’m pretty sure it means “alright”. I’m pretty sure it isn’t necessarily only used by bitches and therefore doesn’t necessarily only mean “I guess if that’s what you think should happen but I don’t agree”. But that’s just me. I’m not a 17 year old vocal fry machine. And trust me, I am fully capable of reading into things beyond what normal people would think is acceptable, but I tend to stick to old school face-to-face conversation over-reading, and maybe the occasional email. A text that says “ok”?? I don’t want to hear about that!

Ooh goody now they’re watching loud videos again. Is that not bad manners? Are manners not taught anymore? Is that not considered a manner? Jesus take the wheel. I can’t do high schoolers anymore. I am officially old.