As you may well know, I have issues with food. I’ve been gluten-free since February but still not feeling better. I did this experimental blood test to see if there were other foods that could be causing issues, and it came back with positive results for chocolate, soy, rice, corn, casein, oats, and egg yolks. Just say it. I know what you want to say.

So what the hell can you eat??

The only way to see if any of those were causing problems is an elimination diet, literally, to eliminate that food from your diet, see if you feel better, and then voila! If you feel better, you quit that bitch. If you don’t, you try another one. So, I was supposed to give up corn and dairy for all of October and November.

And I was doing it, I swear! Hand to god! I actually even made it through halloween, for serious, though it made it the lamest halloween ever because the only candy I could have were these ginger-flavored hard candies Todd found me.

Then November rolled around, and…….I can’t. We went to a Mexican restaurant during Hudson Valley Restaurant Week and I was actually considering ordering a burrito bowl without cheese or sour cream when it finally hit me. NO. That is wrong. You cannot do that to a fine specimen of Mexican-American cuisine such as the tortilla-less burrito. I was already bastardizing it by doing away with the tortilla because god has forsaken me with this obnoxious Celiac Disease and prevented me from ever eating delicious food again. But no cheese?? No margarita?? (Corn syrup) No cheese??

So, I quit quitting that bitch, which is to say, I am happily eating dairy and corn again. Maybe after the holidays…